The Ultimate Guessing Game

I've been around babies a lot for the last few months.  Lots of babies.  Four new grand-babies, a great niece and a great nephew.  Lots. Of. Babies.  And you know what I've RE-discovered about babies, especially the new born variety? Life with babies is a constant guessing game.  The most frequently used word in reference to a baby is "maybe".  Maybe the baby is hungry, maybe the baby has a burp that needs to come up, maybe the baby needs to poop, maybe the baby is tired, maybe the baby is over stimulated, maybe the baby has a tummy ache, maybe the baby has an earache, maybe the baby just wants to be cuddled, maybe the baby just wants to be put down, maybe the baby is too hot or too cold.  Maybe the baby (fill in the blank).  This constant guessing game can produce a variety of responses in parents, everything from mild annoyance to huge amounts of insecurity about yourself as a parent.  It can be particularly unnerving for new parents and can really fuel the fear response in anxiety-prone parents. 

Consider the new father with a mewling newborn infant.  The closest thing he's ever done to babying anything is taking care of his car.  But here is a situation where you can't just throw the baby on a rack and have a look.  You can't look under the hood or attach it to a diagnostic machine.  There's no owner's manual and no bumper to bumper warranty.  You can't just trade it in if it develops some serious noises.  Worst of all, you can't fuel it up on your own.  If your infant is a nursing infant (as most are) you have to take it to the pumping station and let the mother do the fueling.  Exhaust, emissions, backfiring . . . these things are so much easier to diagnose when you're dealing with an automobile! 

The truth is that even "good" babies are an egocentric, burpy, fartsy, hungry, crying, grumbling, grunting, pooping and complaining lot.  They require attention in all of their non-sleeping hours, have no idea what gratitude means and are completely unconcerned that you may have other things you need to attend to (like sleeping, for instance).  Some of them aren't even particularly snuggly so you don't get that little bit of snuggling reinforcement that sometimes helps you to carry on.  I guess the key to all of this is to develop the maturity and patience to not personalize, catastrophize, awfulize, or dangerize any of this very typical infant behavior.  Infants experience distress and discomfort, just like the rest of us do and the best we can do is to soothe and comfort them as best as we can.  Try one thing and then another and try not to get into frantic mode.  Ask for help when it's overwhelming and savor the little smiles, coos and babblings that start to become the reward of hanging in there.  Never let resentment for lost freedom take a foothold.  Unless you're highly unusual, there will be moments of such resentment . . . just don't entertain those thoughts for too long.

We love, the most deeply, those whom we serve the most.  You'll never be the perfect parent but that fierce, unreasonable love that you develop for your little one will cover a multitude of mistakes. 

One more little thought that I've had lately about babies and mysterious bouts of crying.  Do you remember having growing pains when you were a child or a teen-ager?  Remember how painful those growing pains could be?  By the time you were a teen-ager you were growing at a much slower rate than you were as an infant when you were literally doubling your size in just a few months.  It occurs to me that sometimes these babies are just experiencing some crazy growing pains.  Just add it to the list of "maybes".  

Here some photos of the recent additions to our family. I love each of these little ones and I'm relishing every little bit of time that I get to spend with them.  Thank-you to their parents for letting me be a part of their lives. I wish I had more recent photos of Brighton and Charlie but I plan to remedy that in the next couple of months!

What are you lookin' at?

It doesn't get much cuter than me!

Here's what I think of babyfood peas.

This is my little great nephew, Adam.  He looks like he may be thinking "A little privacy please"!

Oh please oh please oh please!

Seriously?

Lose the 'stache, Dad.

Aren't I just beeoootiful in my sister's magnetic earrings?

Am I not the very picture of pathos?

I love my grammy!

And you are . . .?

Snuggles from Papa

Snuggles for daddy.

If you can't guess what I need I'm certainly not going to tell you.

Come on dad . . . guess what I need.

T Rex Hale

Sarah Elaine Hale

Okay . . . then find someone who CAN guess what I need!

I can't believe how big some of my grand babies have gotten!

Who's the interloper on my blanket?

Goo goo

Park City Baby Fest

"Til next time . . .