Beautiful Music

I have been in love with the beautiful acoustic hymn arrangements of Mark Geslison and Geoff Groberg for a long time and want to share their music with you, my fellow blog browsers. Years ago I picked up a copy of a C.D. called "Be Still My Soul" by this musical duo and found it to be peaceful, joyful and inspirational. I love their folksy renditions of many of our traditional hymns played on a diversity of instruments such as the mandolin, guitar, piano, flute, dulcimer, violin, bohran, penny-whistle, etc. They've made several C.D.'s over the past several years and you can listen to any of them in their entirety online at www.MothersDayCDs.com. The presenting C.D. when you get into this address is their newest called "Beautiful Savior" and if you'll click on "Music" at the top of the page it will take you to a page with the rest of their C.D.'s. They have Celtic music, old-time hymns and folk music, C.D.'s especially for missionaries, etc. Also, if you'll click on "About" at the top of this site, you'll see a short write-up about each of these wonderful musicians. They offer a special deal to Bishops who are looking for new gift ideas for the sisters in their wards for Mother's Day. A bulk order of 200 C.D.s will only cost 1.99 per C.D. A bulk order of 100-199 C.D.s is 2.19 per C.D. 50-99 C.D.s is 2.49 per C.D. I have happily purchased their C.D.s from Seagull Book or Deseret Book for sixteen dollars per C.D. and I've purchased many to give as gifts, so I think this is a kicking deal. I've passed this information on to my Bishop. I'd love to see our ward do this because I'd love to see this music find it's way into lots more homes. My kids were actually very open to listening to this music when they were teen-agers when they weren't so open to the Tabernacle Choir (which, I love, by the way). My girls, in particular, love the music of Geslison and Groberg and have found it to be very uplifting and comforting in their lives. On the back of their latest C.D., they've written the following: "We are all fortunate to be the recipients of a very special and rich tradition of music. The beautiful hymns that we enjoy were conceived, for the most part, by unpretentious, "salt of the earth" composers from past centuries. Their inspired melodies have endured the test of time. We hope our acoustic arrangements of these melodies will continue to inspire, comfort, and praise God as the original composers intended. And we hope they will bring a measure of joy to you and your family." They certainly have to my family. Til next time.

Be happy that it happened . . . not sad because it's over

Be happy that it happened . . . not sad because it's over. This has become kind of a mantra for me, over the years, because of all the long distance relationships that I have. Parents and siblings in Canada, children and grandchildren in Minneapolis, Boston and Omaha. A variety of siblings-in-law and nephews and nieces scattered across the USA. Hello, good-bye, great to see you, I'll miss you, 'til next time, I love you . . . I have a saying on my office wall that I can't quote directly because I'm not presently in my office, but it says something like "The only person that you'll ever be with for your entire life is YOU, so learn to live peaceably with yourself. The tears come . . . grieve the losses and move on. Be truly ALIVE while you are living". I haven't had to endure the loss of a parent, spouse or child yet, in my life, but I have had to learn to deal with separation from many of my loved ones. When I think about my parents, siblings and families, children and grandchildren and how much I miss them it just plain hurts so I try not to think about the separation part of it too much! Instead, I anticipate with excitement the next time that I'll get to spend some time with these people that I love. Usually, these much anticipated reunions last a week or two but we had the unexpected happiness of having my oldest son, Mike, drop in for a couple of hours last Sunday when he had a flight layover in Salt Lake City while enroute from Tucson to Minnesota. He's close to the end of residency in Minneapolis and interviewing for positions with different maxillo-facial surgical groups. We had hopes that just MAYBE he would be able to come to Utah to start his career but it doesn't look like that's going to happen, so our long distance relationship with Mike, Erin and our three adorable grandchildren will continue to be long distance. Sigh. Anyway, it was fun to have Mike be able to come for a spot of lunch and a short visit before he hopped the plane back to Minneapolis. Mike, Laura, Lucy and Jordan, downstairs trying out the 3-D feature of our new T.V. before lunch. Oldest son . . . oldest daughter. There are no words to convey how much I love this "boy" . . . how much happiness it gives me just to be with him for a couple of hours . . . how intensely proud (yes, proud) I am of him.

Mike, making nice with Lucy by giving her a Cadbury chocolate easter egg! He knows what a girl likes.

Mike meeting his newest little niece, Adelaide, for the first time. He feels pretty smug that he got to see her before Erin did!

And that was that. I drove him back to the airport and he was back to his life in Minnesota with his wife and children and residency and we were separated again. And I worked for the next few hours on "being happy that it happened and not sad that it was over".

I took this photo of cute little girl cousins, Lucy and Adelaide, after Mike left. As I'm looking at it I'm reminded of what I have right here in Utah! Maybe that won't always be the case but I'm going to enjoy every minute of it while I can! And I'm going to look forward to spending time with Steve and Kalli this summer after their graduations in Boston, helping Mike and Erin and the kids move to where ever they're going to be and spend some time with them, and welcome Annie home from her mission on July 8th! I'm also looking forward to visits from my sister Elaine and her family this week for conference AND hopefully my parents in the next couple of months. And I'm going to be happy for any time that I get to spend with them and try not to be sad at the time of parting. Oh yeah . . . I can do it!

A parting shot of the morning sky, a few days ago, to the west of our home. I love a dramatic sky. Til next time.

What I love about March

March, how do I love thee . . . let me count the ways! I'll start with what I love about this particular march.
This is MY March baby, Scott. Born on the Ides of March, 28 years ago. If you look closely at his forearm, you'll see the footprint of HIS March baby, born three weeks early on March 16 this year. A sweet little baby girl . . . Adelaide. Six pounds three ounces, eighteen and a half inches long. Dark, curly hair. Note Scott's eyes . . . awe, fatigue, worry, relief, joy, love . . . I see all of it in those droopy eyes.

Adelaide had a little trouble getting her breathing regulated so she needed a little oxygen for the first twenty-four hours. It about drove Scott and Rachel crazy to not be able to have her in the room with them.

No one wants to see their baby all attached to tubes and wires but she perked up pretty fast.

Rachel, very tired and sore and absolutely besotted with her beautiful little daughter. We hung out in Rachel's room, for awhile, with her parents, Craig and Reva. Brent picked us up some Rubio's and we had a "birthday" picnic. I love sharing a grandchild's birth with the other grandparents. Maybe because I know, when they look at that baby, JUST how they feel about that baby!
Speaking of besotted!!! Adelaide Hale . . . off the oxygen and I.V. and doing great. Check out the lips, especially that curvy bottom lip. Deja vu, for me.
Now, as for March in general. I love . . . the budding Forsythia bushes.
I can't remember the name of these flowers but they don't seem to mind the cold. I love that our big maple tree starts budding out. I love a pot of chocolate gold coins. This pot has been pretty much wiped out. Is there anything happier looking than yellow crocuses?
One lone little purple crocus.
I think of eggs when the white crocuses with the bright yellow centers come up. I love putting this leprechaun on display in March. My good friend, Julie May, made it for me and I always think of her when I look at it.
More leprechauns. Can't have too many leprechauns in March.
I love sharing our annual St. Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage with family and friends. This year Bob and Beth and family and Grandma and Grandpa Hale joined us. I can't take any credit for making the dinner this year . . . I had some surgery done last week so the meal was prepared by Laura, Brent and Jordan. It was delicious. Thanks you guys. Brent's parents have joined us for St. Patrick's dinner for many years. They served a mission together in Ireland (92-93) as did Brent (69-71). When Mom and Dad Hale finished their mission, we traveled to Ireland to pick them up and tour the island. It was an enchanting place. I'd love to go back. After we toured island for a week we flew to Israel together and did an eight day tour there. These are precious memories to me.
We started celebrating St. Patrick's Day when our kids were really little to teach them a little about Irish culture and to give Brent a chance to get out the old mission slides and tell stories about his mission. In other words, we took a perfectly Catholic sort of holiday and turned it into a Mormon missionary awareness day!
Scott and Rach at St. Patrick's dinner (we actually did it on the Sunday previous) before the baby was born. Brent found this little outfit while he was shopping for the corned beef and cabbage meal. What a guy, eh?
Our own little leprechaun, Lucy with her beautiful mom. They look great in green, don't you think?
Green, shamrock shaped jello jigglers! We love these around here.
Just add 2 1/2 cups hot water to two large pkgs. of lime jello, pour into a 9 x 13 pan and chill. Cut into shapes with small shamrock cookie cutter.
The greatest son-in-law in the world. If you look closely at the "pajama" pants you'll see leprechauns and the logo for Lucky Charms.

I also love the rain showers, the wind, the birds coming back from their winter journeys and the eagles circling overhead (sometimes dozens of them). I love the earthy, springy, alive smell in the air. And that's what I love about March.

Before you proceed any further, this post is somewhat of a departure from what I usually write. It contains some of my thoughts on raising children. Please understand that I do not consider myself an authority on the subject of child rearing and for the most part have tried not to offer unsolicited parenting advice to ANYONE. I believe that for the most part, people DO NOT truly want to be told how to raise their children and that even when they ask for advice, deep down they really don't want advice . . . they want commiseration! They want someone else to see how truly difficult their particular set of circumstances makes it for them to guide/discipline/nuture their particularly difficult child/children. Perhaps I see it that way because I certainly did not want to be told how to raise my family. I pretty much resented all comments/advice from parents, parents-in-law, husband, siblings, friends and just about everyone else when I was raising my five kids. ESPECIALLY my husband (who IS a professional). I can remember many times that Brent would come home from work (often late, because he was starting up his new company), after I'd been going head to head ALL DAY LONG with one of my darling little pre-schoolers, and trying to explain to him how impossible this particular little darling was. He'd try to explain to me, as diplomatically as he could, that it wasn't nearly so much the nature of that child that was the problem as it was the conclusions that I had drawn about him and the way that I was reacting to him. Infuriating! Couldn't he see how difficult this child was and what an impossible situation that I was in? Insensitive moron! I had five kids, the oldest being eleven (at the height of my distress) and the youngest being just a year old. Brent was gone constantly and I wasn't coping well. The obvious solution to the problem was for Brent to be home more and do what I needed him to do (not sure what that was, actually). You get the picture?
That being said, I've been giving this whole subject of raising children a lot of thought, lately, because I've had more than one request for advice about how to deal with a strong minded child who doesn't seem to mind very well. I've thought about raising my own kids (now aged 22 to 32), the successes and the failures of different "techniques" that we tried, the inspired moments and the train wrecks. I've thought about how different my children were from one another. ( Any doubts that I'd ever harbored about my children not existing as intelligent spirits pre-mortally were completely eliminated as their personalities emerged within the first few months of their lives!) I've thought about how even though they were all quite different from one another that they were the same as one another also . . . they all needed love, nurturance, closeness, a sense of their place in the family AND they had a need to establish varying degrees of independance and separateness.
Now, my young friends who are raising young children, if you don't mind I'm going to talk LDS-ish here. If it's true that the most valiant of spirits were saved for the last days (in other words the most valiant warriors) we have to ask ourselves the question "what was it that they fought so valiantly to defend"? FREEDOM, baby! The freedom to exercise agency to truly become all that they could be, as children of God. They are magnificent freedom fighters but a veil of forgetfulness has caused them to lose sight of what and Who they were fighting for. This is a generation of people who are not going to be content with the answer "because I told you so" to their questions of "why". I really believe that your generation is going to have to step up their parenting skills to guide the rising generation and help them channel that HUGE need for "freedom to choose" into "freedom to choose the things of eternal life". The children of today are not going to align themselves with just anything. They are not going to commit themselves easily to family rules, church doctrine or anything else that isn't felt, deeply in their souls, to be safe, sound and given in a nuturing manner.
Because Brent is a "behavioral" psychologist, we have used a parenting model based chiefly on choice and consequence. We've tried various parenting techniques and devised little "programs" to help our kids internalize principles of healthy living and to develop good life skills (refer back to inspired moments and train wrecks). I really believe, however, that the single most helpful thing I did to "step up" my parenting was to get "inservice" help. This included individual therapy (lots of it), group therapy, parenting classes, self-help books, Relief Society classes, CES classes, etc. The truth is that maintaining a peaceful, safe feeling environment in your home where children feel more free to make healthy choices begins with YOU so I think that some investment in your education and emotional health is completely in order here, don't you think? Let me quote the blog of a good friend of mine who was quoting the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff".
"The emotional climate you live in begins with you - as mine does for me. If you are agitated, nervous, frantic and frustrated, it's unrealistic to expect that the other people in your home are going to thrive. Instead, they will likely be walking on eggshells trying not to upset you" (or in the case of some children, they may be acting out to further exacerbate your internal chaos). "Any negativity you harbor will affect, to some degree, the others in your home, (not to mention the effects on yourself.) This doesn't mean that it's your fault if your home is less than peaceful, only that in most instances, if you wait for others to set the example you'd like to see, you're going to have a very long wait! However, when you are calm patient and loving you bring out the best in those around you. By being an example of peace, you open the door for others to be more patient, accepting and gracious. Rather than being upset by the ups and downs of daily living, you create an environment in which it's okay to go with the flow. And the CALMER you become, the easier it is to make the necessary adjustments to the complications and challenges of daily living. By being peaceful, you eliminate many of the mental distractions that interfere with your wisdom and common sense, thus making it easier to see solutions instead of problems. Sooo, instead of waiting for others (including your children) to step forward and blaming them for the chaos in your home, make the decision to have peace as YOUR top priority - decide it's a goal worth striving toward."
Well, my oh my, haven't I just gone on and on here! If you're still reading this you're either truly looking for answers as you raise your children (and very possibly haven't found any here) or you're a true glutton for punishment or both! Whatever. I welcome your comments and thoughts as you fight alongside your magnificent little warriors in the trenches of mortal life! I'd be happy to share a couple of our little "family programs" that were more successful, if you'd like. And I'd love to hear about YOUR inspired moments and successes because there may be others who read those comments and find an answer to a behavioral problem that they've been struggling with in their little one(s). Til next time.
P.S. I'd rather not share the train wrecks . . . suffice it to say that there were plenty of them along the way and most them involved getting into a control struggle with a toddler or pre-schooler. Fatal error.

RE-ROUTED

Let's talk about flying, shall we? That is getting into an airplane, strapping yourself in to a seat that could have been used in the Spanish Inquisition (only not quite as comfy), making sure that your tray tables are in the locked position and that your inquisitee's seat is in the full upright position and that everything with an off/on switch is fully switched OFF. Oh, and that everything you need to keep yourself occupied on your flight is stored securely in the overhead matchboxes. In the past month, I have been on ten such flights. Three of them, just yesterday. Yup, yesterday I was in Minneapolis, Phoenix, LasVegas and ended this perfectly charming little adventure here in Salt Lake City. Now I realize that I'm being REALLY whiney here . . . after all I had a great few days in New York with all of my girls (except the missionary), some wonderful family time in Vancouver, Canada with my mom, dad, sibs and their families and then had another great week in Minneapolis with Mike, Erin and kids for Abbie's baptism. I'm complaining about NONE of that, however. Just the flying. Does anyone out there enjoy the actual experience of flying in an airplane? (any pilots reading this don't get a vote)

So yesterday, I sadly left Mike and Erin's place at about 2:00 PM (Minnesota time) to leave myself plenty of time to check in early on my Southwest flight where it's kind of a first come, first served sort of set-up. If you get there early, you get a more forward position in the cattle chute so that when you're herded aboard, you have a bigger selecton of uncomfortable seats to choose from than the schmucks at the back of the chute. Actually, in defense of Southwest, I think that they actually do give you a little more leg room than, say, Delta. Yessss, Delta. "May I have your attention ladies and gentlemen . . . will all Platinum, frequent flying types please step around the struggling mothers of small children and elderly infirm types to take your place in the first few rows of the airplane where we will pretend that you're someone important." But . . . I digress. Where was I? Oh yes . . . arriving early for the cattle chute. As I'm taking off my shoes, coat, scarf and underwire bra in the security line and checking to make sure that all dangerous items (i.e. hand cream and tweezers) are removed from my bag, my cell phone rings and I'm informed by a recording that my 3:40 PM flight has been delayed until an estimated 4:55 PM. Okay . . . I can live with this. I have my ipod with me and I can sharpen up my Angry Birds game. But wait . . . what about my Phoenix connection? The nice young man at the gate check-in informs me that I will miss my original Phoenix connection and the only way they can get me home is Minneapolis to Phoenix to Las Vegas to Salt Lake. Arriving in Salt Lake at midnight. Only a couple of us are affected by this. Most of the people on this flight are escaping the sub zero temperatures of Minnesota and their final destination IS Phoenix. AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH! Three cattle chutes, three complimentary drinks and bags of peanuts, and three take-0ffs and landings later I arrived in Salt Lake City, a shell of my former self. Kind of jittery, not exactly sure where I was in place and time, slightly blurred vision, roiling stomach and a bladder that's had it. Brent picked me up at the airport (bless him) and asked, "How was your trip home"? I told him I didn't want to talk about it . . . I wanted to repress it into some dark corner of my mind where it could never be retrieved because I know I will always have to fly to see the people that I love and I want to just forget this whole experience.

A tad dramatic, perhaps. However, I've found this little blogging interlude to be quite cathartic so I thank you all (who are still reading this drivel) for indulging me. End of diatribe.

I know you're all dying to know if I improved my Angry Birds game. Well, no, I didn't as a matter of fact. Who do you think I am . . . Abbie and/or Landon, my eight and five year old grandchildren? (please see my previous post).

The Minnesota Five (Abbie's baptism in particular)

First of all, let me just say that it's FREEZING here in Minnesota. Not just any kind of cold. I'm talking bone-chilling, mind-numbing, joint-aching, teeth-rattling cold. That kind of cold. The kind of cold that makes your nostrils collapse and stick to themselves! So what could possibly persuade Brent and I to come to Minnesota in February? Abbie's baptism, that's what! The first photo is the only one with me in it . . . just included it to prove that I was, indeed, present!
Landon has my ipod touch in this photo and he's playing a serious game of Angry Birds. Not sure what Angry Birds is? Bring an ipod touch into this household and you'll find out fast. I had to cough up ninety-nine cents for it because "we" needed to conquer extra levels!

Brent (beard left over from South America travels) with Landon. The little instrument of torture in Landon's hand is a wooden whistle that Brent bought in Argentina in a moment of insanity. The sliding stick takes an already ear-splitting sound and turns it into the alarm from hell. Oh yeah . . . big time.

Noah . . . face of an angel but absolutely full of it. Just got the cast off his arm from a tumble off the kitchen bench. Perpetual motion.

Landon seeing if steering Papa's ears will get him anywhere.

Abbie with her new notebook and binder. She preferred to have this, over a new toy. Growing up, she is.

A trip to the Aquarium . . . the most awesome display of jellyfish I've ever seen.

Also, an awesome display of seahorses.

Looking UP at the underside of a sawfish in an aquarium tunnel. Weird, eh?

Landon and Abbie playing with our ipods. Angry birds, Pocket Frogs, Moron Test, Fruit Ninja. You name it. They can play it . . . better than me. Embarrassing. This has been a common sight during this week. Morning of Baptism Day . . . Abbie had to go to her dance recital rehearsal first.

Oh my . . . has this girl grown up or what? All ready to head to the church.

Abbie with her little buddy, Noah.

Two little men and a lady. My heart is melting (even in Minnesota).

The whole family just before the baptismal service.

Abbie in her white baptismal jumpsuit with the flowers that Papa gave her for her baptism day.

Mike and Abbie in their whites. Hard to believe that we have a child that's old enough to have a child who's eight!

The classic father child pose on baptism day! I knew this would be a wonderful day but I had no idea how strongly I would feel the spirit there or how touched I would be. It was lovely to see my son in that font, with his daughter, performing that beautiful ordinance. Abbie seemed very happy and seemed to understand what it was that she was taking upon herself. Thanks for teaching her, Mike and Erin.

Food and fun afterwards. Sandwich fixings and custard filled cake . . . gotta love Costco!

Mike with some of his wardies, including his Bishop (in blue sweater).

Some sledding to round out the day . . . this looks like a scene from "Christmas Story". Hey Landon, can you put your arms down?

Ever cool Abbie. It was actually a "balmy" 34 degrees on this day!

The sledding team . . . ready to roll. I joined them for a few minutes . . . yes I did!

When you go sledding with the big boys (and girls) you have to lug your own saucer. Landon was a champ.

Ready, set!

Sunday morning in mom and dad's bed. Sadly, Abbie woke up in the night with a fever and body aches (diagnosed yesterday as strep) so her ward's newest member didn't get to go to church.

Sad ending to a very happy day!

The classic look of a Mike and Erin Hale family movie night! Heading home tomorrow . . . I'm going to miss the Minnesota Five . . . as always.