A Bittersweet Valentine's Day

Brent and I share a passion for reading. We both love to read whatever and whenever we can. The difference between us, however, is that Brent has fantastic recall of what he reads and I retain very little of the particulars of what I read. What I DO retain are thoughts, images, feelings SO . . . if you you ask me if I enjoyed a particular book (or even a movie) I will be able to tell you that I loved it, or was moved by it, or intrigued by it or that it gave me a good laugh but I probably won't be able to quote specific favorite parts. So it is with Kim's funeral on Feb. 14th.

Kim's funeral was a perfect tribute to this unique woman. Loving remembrances by a much-loved brother Kevin and by cherished sisters Kamra and Kristen, a masterful and from-the-heart talk given by Kim's BFF, Susan, in behalf of Kim's friends (it was perfect, Susan), a side-splitting tribute by dear friend and sparring partner, columnist Robert Kirby (because there IS a time to laugh), two courageous and hauntingly beautiful musical numbers by Kim's nieces Cecily and Tiffany (Come to my Garden . . . oh, my) and by her son, Josh(Days of Plenty; I don't know how you did it, Josh, but it was as miraculous a performance as I've ever seen in my life) and finally a talk addressing the plan of salvation by Kim, herself, filmed especially for the funeral. Kim wasn't overly fond of most plan of salvation talks that she's heard at funerals and was granted permission to give her own. Her Bishop told her that she wasn't so much planning her funeral as "producing" it! There are, in my estimation, few individuals who could pull that off . . . she was one of them. It was moving and inspiring and helped us all feel how near she really was. At the end of the services, and by Kim's request, her sisters and friends (acting as "spirit bearers") lined the path between the church and the hearse all decked out in red hats, coats, scarves, boas etc. I hope to acquire a picture and post it at some later date! Someone started singing "You Are My Sunshine" and we all took up the tune with her. It was quintessential "Kim". An occassion, a festivity, a party, a celebration. That was Kim . . . any reason to celebrate! Now, if you ask me about any specific thing that was said, you'll probably be greeted by a fairly blank stare. Sorry about that, eh? But I can tell you that I was left with an imprint in my heart of peace, hope, love and connection right next to the empty spot that will always be for Kim.

I have already personally thanked Dave and his great kids for the way they opened their home and hearts to all of us who wanted to remain a part of Kim's life during her illness and dying process, but I want it to be a matter of record. For me, personally, it was one of the great and sacred experiences of my life and I can't possibly express how grateful I am to you for sharing the time that Kim had left. I think I can safely speak for a lot of people who feel as I do . . . Kim helped "normalize" death for a lot of us and her courage and optimism helped to banish much of our fear about the dying process. That is a priceless gift. Thank-you.

It snowed for a good part of the day on Valentine's day, including while we at the cemetery but the sun finally broke through in the afternoon and the sunset was glorious. It was surrounded by dark storminess but it was golden and beckoning. I'll end this post with these pictures.