A true lady always knows when it's time to go . . .

My cherished friend, Kim Madsen, passed away yesterday afternoon (February 9, 2009) after a four year battle with (and acceptance of) ovarian cancer. The first part of this post is an email that I sent to several friends (hers and mine) and several of my family members yesterday:

Dear friends and family,
This is a quick note to let you all know that Kim left today at about 2:10 P.M. She had lapsed into a peaceful unconsciousness early on Sunday morning (after a very difficult night) and her breathing had become ragged and gurgley. She was very peaceful when she passed away. I had been downstairs fixing some lunch, went upstairs to let Dave(her husband) and Chrissy(her daughter) know that it was ready, took one look at Kim and pretty much knew she was gone. She left just a minute before I came in the room. Dave made some phone calls (his kids, Kim's mom and other family members, the hospice nurse). The hospice nurse made the official declaration of death and cleared out all the medical equipment and medications. The men from the mortuary arrived and with Dave's help carried her body downstairs and then took her away. Meanwhile the sun came out, Chrissy's kids were laughing and playing, the TV was on, people were coming and going, babies needed feeding and changing and life just continued to roll on. It was a little surreal but just the way she would have wanted it.
The funeral will be held on Saturday, February 14th at 11:00 AM. I imagine there will be a viewing at Russon Bros. funeral home the night before. In the days before Kim became unconscious she talked about her funeral being on Valentine's day and thought it would be a fine idea! She always loved parties, holidays and special occassions. She loved all flowers and especially roses so I think it's fitting that she'll be celebrated on a day of many roses!
It's been a long journey (she was diagnosed four years ago) and I'm so happy for her that she finally got to go home . . . she was so ready. I have to admit, however, to feeling pretty empty inside. I'm going to miss her. Love, Sandra

Kim's very close and cherished friend, Susan Bellomy, will be delivering a talk at the funeral in behalf of all of Kim's friends. Kim informed her a long time ago that this task would fall to her! I know that Susan has put many thoughtful hours into what she will say and I know that it will be beautifully crafted and full of the love and respect that she has always had for Kim. She asked several of us to share with her something that Kim contributed to our lives . . . something that we felt we learned in our association with Kim. Kim contributed so much to my life that I had a very hard time narrowing my thoughts down. The following is what I wrote and sent to Susan:

"Kim invited me to join the book club, introduced me to the wonderful world of dance aerobics, step exercise, yoga and swimming aerobics, showed me how to pereniallize my yard, introduced me to the loveliness of running my hand across the tops of her lavender plants to collect the wonderful fragrance, introduced me to the world of theater and musical theater and taught me to love it, helped me on my way to computer literacy, showed me the pure joy of late night skinny dipping (not sure I'd include that one in your talk, Susan) . . . and so many other things. She taught me to be a little less rigid in my thinking . . . to not be afraid of honest discussion about a variety of subjects. She helped me see the difference between the gospel as Christ taught and lived it and the culture that we tend to weave around it! She taught me the meaning of the word "inclusive" . . . I really don't know anyone who has as many close friendships as Kim does. She simply loved people and collected friends like some people collect stamps or rocks. She wasn't afraid to say "I want to be your friend". She had all kinds of friends from all kinds of backgrounds with all kinds of different interests and beliefs . . . she loved us all even when we were surely driving her crazy sometimes. Her contact with people didn't seem to wear her out . . . she seemed to gather energy and strength from her relationships. I'm not saying that she didn't get weary or annoyed sometimes. She was a world class friend, not a saint!

Do you remember the story from the scriptures where the Savior was walking with his disciples through throngs of people and the woman with the "issue of blood" reached out and touched his robe? She felt that if she could just touch Him she would be made whole? Kim wouldn't be happy with any comparisons of herself to the Savior, but I really think that people just felt more whole when they were around her . . . so many of us wanted a "share" of Kim. We went away from whatever our contact was with her, feeling more filled. She gathered us, taught us, laughed with us, fed us and was never hesitant to let us all know where the true source of wholeness comes from . . . faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ. "

The amaryllis that I've pictured throughout this post bloomed from a bulb that I purchased a couple of months before Christmas. It actually bloomed right around Christmas time but I was in Minnesota and missed seeing it. Rachel was kind enough to send me a couple of picture texts to show me how beautiful it was. By the time we got home, the flowers had started to fade and a few weeks ago I almost tossed the bulb out. I noticed, however, that there was another tiny little shoot starting at the base of the stem so I cut back the old flowers, gave it a little shot of water and left it alone. I actually didn't think it would do anything because I've never had an amaryllis that sent out another stem of flowers after the first blooming (perhaps because I've never had the patience to wait for it). Anyway, the above photos are of the flower that opened . . . yesterday. Laura pointed it out to me just today and suggested that maybe it was a gift for

me . . . maybe my flower-loving friend, Kim, had something to do with it. Hmmm. Maybe it was a coincidence that my amaryllis bloomed for the second time on the day that Kim died and maybe it wasn't. I choose to believe that Kim's final expression of love to me is the beautiful red and white amaryllis flower in the pictures above. Thanks Kim . . . I love you too.